Well, what I wrote last night about this post – before I had even finished translating it (there’s a lot in here that defies my linguistic skills, but… I get the picture, at least…) still holds true – it makes me sad for you. Not that I pity you, because I don’t believe in pity – I can’t think of anything as passifying as pity, not to mention degrading. So there will be none of that. But it’s insanely frustrating to know this “awesome bloke” ;-) and have him not realising that himself – despite being a reasonably clever awesome bloke… Gah! But it makes me sad, not least because it seems so obvious that you’re beyond general chemistry of the brain, signal substances and neuro-transmittors… This is something else, and there are no shortcuts from where you stand. You need to get to where you can believe in yourself, and not speak so degrading of yourself – shrug at the others and just be yourself.

Which, I might add, isn’t a bad thing at all.

Psychiatrists get very little money for their services for depression treatment; there are fixed rates depending on the diagnosis given. (One doctor had been quite blunt about this and sent me away after half an hour since she could not afford to spend more time with me…) In an article in a magazine published last week, it says the budget is about 40-60€ for one patient in one quarter (not sure about my English here: I mean a three month period).

(But… six weeks? Is that standard? How will you remember from appointment to appointment where to pick up…? But then again – I suppose this is a lot more structured treatment than the sessions I’ve been through. I’m sure it will be fine!)

It’s funny – sometimes when you sit down and write things down, they end up surprising you while you write them down. I made a 00-decade-recap earlier this year, and it turned out quite differently than I had expected it to – even while I was writing it.

Don’t forget to get some sleep too… ;-)